Now I’m going to address another habit that people seem to deal with on a regular basis: struggling. This concept is a close cousin to resistance and holding it together. The word struggle is defined as, “to make a strenuous or labored effort.” What has been your experience with struggling? Your response may be, “Who me, struggle?” You may not be aware of this yet, but there is really no need to struggle, unless you insist on it. Of course you want to make an effort at those things that are important to you, but it does not have to be a struggle.

    When confronted with various challenging situations, there seems to be a tendency for some people to struggle with the issue for a period of time. Struggling, when repeated, will then become a habit. (Anything repeated over a period of time becomes a habit – positive or negative.) Then after repeating this tendency to struggle again and again, their life actually becomes a struggle. Some people might even describe their life as a struggle! If that’s what they say it is, if that’s what they insist on, then that’s what it is. As I said a moment ago, it doesn’t have to be this way unless you insist on it.

What Struggling Is

    Think of an issue that you’re struggling with. Do you realize that the more you struggle with the issue, the longer it persists? The struggle gives you the perception that you’re working on the issue. But the struggle itself ensures that the battle will continue on inside you with little or no resolution and, subsequently, drag on for an extended period of time. Of course the issue is important to you, but it’s the struggle with it that ultimately serves no purpose.

    Please take note that in my approach to this issue of struggling, that I’m separating “you,” the “issue,” and the “struggle,” from each other. Each is separate from the other. The reason for my doing this is to further clarify the true nature of the dilemma you’re dealing with.

    It is important for you to note that a habit, or a particular tendency of some sort, is not “you.” You are not a habit. I am separating you from your behavior, as well as the act of struggling. For example, I like to tell my daughter, “I love you.” But when she misbehaves, it’s the behavior or the habit that I’m calling into question.

    It’s not her, per se. It’s the behaviors – the habits, your behaviors, your habits, do not diminish who you are. Struggling is Like Struggling With a Mannequin in Quicksand

    To give you a concrete image, struggling is like struggling with a mannequin in quicksand. First, there’s no need to be in the quicksand, and second, there is no need to be struggling with a mannequin in quicksand.

    When you unknowingly struggle with an issue, it’s like you’re struggling with a mannequin in quicksand and refusing to allow yourself to be pulled out by someone holding out a stick. Listen to this once again. When you unknowingly struggle with an issue, it’s like you’re struggling with a mannequin in quicksand and refusing to allow yourself to be pulled out by someone holding out a stick. All you have to do is let go of the struggle that you’re having with this mannequin so that you can easily be pulled out of the quicksand. Remember, the mannequin has no life to it and the quicksand, once you’re relaxed, stops dragging you further in, giving you an opportunity to be pulled out. Being in quicksand (admittedly, it can be distressing) doesn’t have to be a big deal if you relax and allow yourself to be pulled out. However, you’re too involved with the struggle itself to realize that it’s the struggling with a mannequin in the quicksand that’s pulling you down.

Let me break this concept down very simply.

    A. There’s you in the quicksand
    B. There’s the issue - which is, you in quicksand with the mannequin
    C. There’s the struggling with a mannequin in the quicksand

    What’s noteworthy about this whole situation is that the struggle is subconscious. Unless you make it conscious, unless you stop and realize that what you’re feeling and doing, is, in fact, struggling, then you will continue to struggle.

    Remember, the struggle is not you. The struggle is just a habit and you are not your habit. Your struggle is subconscious and it’s a habit, but the habit is not you.

    In order for me to help you resolve the issue, you must begin to be conscious of the habit of struggling and then deal with the feeling of “struggling” that’s going on inside of you.

    Struggling occurs when your belief in yourself and your connection to the courage that’s overflowing in your Heart, becomes disconnected. This disconnection and the struggle that follows, along with the subsequent confusion, conflict, etc. is, in part, a result of losing the feeling and the belief that “I always have a choice and the ability to respond. I can do this. I can do whatever it takes.”

    Once you’re able to identify what you’re feeling inside, that is, that you’re struggling, then you can be accepting of the struggle by affirming it. Once you start to affirm it and start to experience relief, then you can reconnect to your power residing in your Heart found in this feeling and belief of, “I always have a choice and the ability to respond. I can do this. I can do whatever it takes.” This is when things really start to change. In other words, accepting the struggle allows it to dissipate and allows you to move on. What a relief that can be!

    You may be wondering why you would want to accept the struggle. Remember, I’m separating the following:

1. - You in the quicksand,
2. - The issue (of you in quicksand with the mannequin), and
3. - You struggling with a mannequin in the quicksand.